Ask Che; reach in before you reach out

Dear Che,

I was laid off months ago, and I have done everything I am supposed to do. I have updated my resume, applied everywhere, and checked the job boards every morning. Nothing. It feels like every door is closed, and some days I do not even know where the door is anymore. Is it normal to feel this desperate? What do I do now?

Still Knocking

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Dear One,

Yes. It is natural to feel desperate when it seems every door is closed. It is natural to feel lost when you don’t even know where the door is.

So, before anything else, I want to encourage you to do something that may sound backwards. Do not reach out. Not yet. First, reach in. Reset your mindset.

This is a challenging time. A difficult time. A complex time. Everything is shifting quickly, and technology has taken over so much of what we used to do to find work. The old path of sending a resume and waiting for a call is not what it used to be.

I do not know what industry you are in or what work you are trying to find, but I do know this. Looking for a job after being laid off is emotionally and psychologically draining, so give yourself some grace.

Try not to think from a place of I am desperate. Think from a place of curiosity. Think from a willingness to meet new people. Everyone will tell you to network. I want you to think about something deeper. Relationship building. Across organizations, people, and across associations, because the question is not how big your network is. The question is how deep it is.

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That is an important question. Sit with it. Here is the reality. Resumes do not go as far as they used to, but relationships do. Relationships are at the beginning of opportunity, and I want you to hear this clearly. The layoff was about the company. It was not about your trajectory. Many of us were never taught to see a layoff as anything but a verdict on our worth and our skills, but what if you decided otherwise?

What if you decided, even if you loved that job, that this moment is a door opener rather than a condemnation? An opportunity to grow. Financially. In business. In possibility.

That is a decision, and it is yours to make. Now, some questions to reach in with:

• What are you most interested in?
• What is your skill?
• What have you been doing for the last ten years, and where else could you apply it?
• What industries are growing in your area of work?
• Are you willing to investigate new areas?

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Answer these honestly with yourself before you answer them for anyone else, then, reach out.

1. Go deep, not wide. Choose the people and organizations that genuinely fit you and build real relationships there rather than collecting contacts.
2. Use LinkedIn with intention. Reach out to people whose work interests you. Ask about their path, not for a job.
3. Let technology work for you. Have you considered setting up an AI agent to search for jobs and resources on your behalf? Ask yourself if you are willing to try.
4. Find your associations. If you can afford a membership group, look for one that fits you well. They become a natural funnel for building relationships.
5. Say yes to coffee. Virtual coffees and in-person coffees. One conversation can open a door no application ever will.
6. Care for your well-being. Join an exercise group. Practise yoga. Spend time with your faith community if you have one. Join a writing group, a reading group, a book club.

That last one matters more than you might think. You would be surprised how many people in those rooms are in similar situations or know of an opportunity that is right for you.

So, find the places where you belong, and whatever you do, do not let desperation isolate you. The door is closer than it feels, and you are not the only one looking for it.

Let us Talk,

Che Marville