How to leverage relationships strategically to get what we want in life

BY DANIEL COLE

We all need people and quality relationships to reach our goals in life. Dr Mike Murdock once said, “We are always one conversation away from a changed life.” In other words, we are one relationship away from creating a better life. Everybody has something that somebody else needs. Nothing in nature grows, progresses, or develops independently.

The food chain perfectly illustrates how each member depends on one another to survive or stay functional, and the same applies to us as human beings; we grow and move forward in relation to the quality of people we surround ourselves with and the associations we keep.

Relationships are like bank accounts; we unconsciously make deposits into them and we also make withdrawals. Every act of kindness, care, love, concern, and generosity you extend to others are deposits you are making to your ‘relational account.’ Oftentimes, the problem is, people, want a ‘withdrawal’ while they are yet to make a ‘deposit.’

All creations are dependent on external influences to survive. Humans get oxygen from nature and in return give back carbon dioxide. Plants get nutrients from the soil while decomposed plants also fertilize the soil. Inter-dependency is the model for God’s creation. Your success or the lack of it has so much to do with how well you can cultivate, manage, and foster quality relationships.

It’s not enough to cultivate quality relationships, it’s important you know how to leverage them. First, take an inventory of all your contacts; your social media friends and followers, your families and acquaintances, now, write down at least 5 to 10 most influential people on that list and ask yourself, how well do I know these people? Do I have access to them directly? Do I check up on them regularly? Do they have something I need? If yes, then it’s wise to reach out to them. However, there are no guarantees you will get a successful outcome, but it’s always worth the try.

There is power in your network if you invest in it. As Stephen R. Covey once said, “Building and repairing relationships are long-term investments.” It is important also to learn how to create a balance between leveraging relationships and not becoming an opportunist. You need to realize, every demand you make off people gradually depletes your ‘relational account.’ If you always position yourself at the receiving end of every relationship, eventually, you will be portrayed in a negative light, that you are only out there to get, not give. Obey the law of reciprocation. Let the pendulum of kindness always swing back and forth.

‘Your network is your net worth.’ Don’t bankrupt your relational equity. “You will always rise and fall on the quality of people you surround yourself with.” T.D Jakes once said, relationships are more important than revenue, invest in the former, it always pays huge dividends. Just one relationship well leveraged can make a huge difference in your life. You might be one relationship away from getting whatever we want in life. In-between your present reality and your imaginary future are people and relationships you need to nurture and cultivate. Stay clear from a casual, unproductive, and mindless association; invest in meaningful and productive relationships, it always pays off.

To build your relational equity, give genuine compliments. Check up on people and ask how they are doing. Let them know you are thinking about them. Your colleague bought a new car, congratulate him and tell him you are happy for him. Your friend passes his exam tell him how proud you are of his accomplishment. The point is, make some emotional deposit in people’s lives.

Maya Angelou has rightly said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”