Do i need to be in therapy too?

Dear Che,

I am really struggling with my emotions right now. I don’t have any sense of well-being, and I am honestly not sure what that would even feel like. I was raised in a very religious family, where the belief was that God should be my therapist. It seems like everyone is in therapy these days, so I am wondering, do I need it too?

Photographer: Lorem Zo

Hello Brave One,

Thank you for this courageous first step. I want you to be aware that I am not a physician or therapist, so what I am about to share with you is based on my lived experience. You have just helped several people who are contemplating the same matter and feeling overwhelmed.

Secondly, I would like to encourage you to honour the part of you that feels vulnerable right now. The part of you that notices you are not OK and may need help.

So many of us have learned that asking for help is a weakness, especially when it comes to our emotional well-being. In fact, it is the opposite: recognizing that something is not OK is the first step toward becoming better. It is important to seek help from a professional and find out if and what resources are in your community.

Now here is what I have observed over many years of coaching. When something in you is saying that something is wrong, that is not a deficit, it is an opportunity for growth.

I often joke that everyone needs a therapist, a physician and a priest. We need all of it. Coming from a religious family does not mean you cannot ask for help outside of God, and believing in God does not mean God is the only door. You have heard the saying; God helps those who help themselves. Think of therapy as one of the many tools of support available to you, and here is a question I would ask you to sit with. Do you not deserve to be supported too?

Therapy is also private. You do not have to discuss it with your family. This is a space you are creating to care for yourself, and it belongs to you.

I will share something personal. In my twenties, I began to have insomnia. I found a therapist, and that support helped me find my way back to rest. Reaching out was not a weakness. It was a new tool, and it changed how I cared for myself from then on.

I would like to encourage you to consider creating space for rest, silence, prayer and mindfulness. Why, you may ask? All of those acts create space to notice how you feel and build awareness.  Think of this time as a moment to care deeply for yourself while also seeking help. In addition to seeking help, think about building space into your life for your wellbeing. Wellbeing is not an accident; it is not something that some people have, and others do not. Just as we get colds or break a bone, our inner life requires care and attention. 

Every day we begin again in our life, trying not to judge ourselves harshly and creating space for deep compassion.

Photographer: Christina @ wocintechchat.com

Here are some small places to begin:

• Book a conversation with your physician and tell the whole truth.
• Look at your sleep, gently, without judgment.
• Look at your nutrition the same way.
• Walk outside every day. Fresh air and movement are medicine.
• Dance, run, sprint, jump, elevate your heart and live.
• Practice a few minutes of mindfulness daily, simply noticing your breath.
• Read and gather information about what you are experiencing, without judging yourself.
• Learn your own story and honour your truths.

Being a human being is a remarkable thing, and there is no shame in getting help. You noticed. Now let that noticing lead you somewhere kind.

Let’s Talk,

Che Marville