Surrounded by negative people; Let’s talk with Coach Che

Dear Che,

I feel surrounded by negative people. Whenever I share something hopeful, it gets shot down. I have stopped talking about my dreams, and honestly, I am lonely. I need something positive in my life. Where do I even start?

Dear Reader,

Let us not dwell on the negative people, or what they say. I want this letter to be about positivity, and the tools for it, but first, one thing worth understanding, so you can stop taking their words personally: the people around you suffer from what most of our society suffers from. They are under the spell of the negativity bias. It’s what drives the algorithms. It’s what determines consumerism. It’s fuelled by competition, and by a society that has been preparing for the worst for centuries, out of necessity, because once, it had to.

For some it is an expression of their anxiety and fear. Their negativity was never really about you or your dreams.

Here is what I would like you to consider.

Protect your dreams and your hopes. Share them with people who hope and dream too, people who believe that you can change your life. If you don’t have those people yet, find those voices on the page. Read books about changing your life. Read self-improvement books. Read biographies. Fill your mind with the company of people who did what everyone said could not be done.

Do not judge the negative people and do not try to change them. The only thing that will ever change them, if anything does, is watching you succeed. Your life is the argument. You do not have to make it out loud.

Become a great visualizer of your dreams, your hopes, and even your emotions. If you want to feel well, imagine yourself being well. Imagine yourself happy. Use your imagination. It is one of the most underutilized tools we have. We think imagination belongs only to artists, no. We all have one, and part of what our imagination allows us to do is to see ourselves better than we are. Then take the steps, day by day, to accomplish what you saw.

Become mindful of your dreams. Protect them. Understand that the things you hope for are sacred and sacred things require protection.

Sincerely, Coach Che